Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Carry On Tuesday Prompt #24


I missed last week's prompt due to being sick, plus nothing came to me. I mean nothing. Not even a smidgen of a glimmer of an idea. So with an ill body and a dizzy brain, I didn't ... couldn't ... attempt it.

But this week's Carry On Tuesday prompt brought an image to me immediately, and I wrote two drafts on Sunday. This is only a third draft, so I obviously have a way to go in revising, polishing, etc., but I like the idea. It's nothing terribly original; few of my ideas are. I don't have a hauntingly refreshing imagination like my blogging/poet friend Sarah or ideas bubbling into my brain every other minute like my blogging/novelist friend Katharine. But I liked the image, and I twined the words in and through and around it, tugging a little here and adjusting a little there. Let me know what you think.

Carry On Tuesday Prompt #24: From the 1998 film Aliens:

"We'd better get back, 'cause it'll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night ... mostly."


mostly at night

they mostly come at night ...
mostly --
these dreams of her.

her pale face bending down to mine,
her dark hair brushing my cheek,
her icy hand caressing my face,
her cold lips pressing against mine
for the briefest of moments ...

then she's gone --
only her faint freesia scent,
sepia memories of a too-young love --
a too-young life.
then she was gone.

these dreams --
they mostly come at night ...
mostly.

copyright 2009 Susanne Barrett

4 comments:

sarah said...

I love this. I especially love the last line. Beautiful. Thank you for your kind words, by the way. Alas, I am not much of a poet lately. Too sidetracked by frantic thoughts of nanowrimo, lol!

Jane D. said...

Fab!

cyclopseven said...

Poignant.

Anne said...

Wow! I love this! There's an award for you on my blog, come see!

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