Ash Wednesday

Today I sat in the hall at Point Loma, listening to Anne Lamott talk about, among a myriad other topics, how she loves Ash Wednesday. She read a chapter about spreading her mother's ashes with her family that was (like most of her writing) hilarious and heartwrenching within the same paragraph, but reminds her of Ash Wednesday and forgiveness and sin.

Ash Wednesday is one of my favorite Holy Days. For me, I appreciate it because it's REAL. Our sin is a real thing that we (and especially I) like to sweep under the carpet and pretend it doesn't really happen. But on Ash Wednesday, I wear the proof of my sin right on my forehead, right where I am marked with that cross of ashes that claims me as Christ's. I can't hide from my sin when it's represented smack dab on my forehead. It's almost freeing -- knowing that I am faced head-on by my sin this day especially, and I NEED Lent.

Yep, I NEED Lent. I need 40 days to pray more, meditate more, read and study the Scriptures more, and to confess my sin more. I love Lent, and especially Ash Wednesday. My sin is real, but forgiven through that same cross of Christ represented on my forehead. So tonight I headed to Victoria House to meet up with eleven other people of Alpine Anglican to be anointed with ashes and to celebrate Communion. To read Psalm 51 together, on our knees, from our hearts, was cleansing and beautiful. To be marked with the ashes, hearing "Remember O Man, that you are dust, and to dust you shall return" as the ashes are marked in the form of the cross on my forehead is humbling yet freeing.

Last year I wrote up a blurb for a flyer on Ash Wednesday and Lent for our evangelical church that doesn't officially keep Lent. Pastor Steve added more to it, and took other stuff out, and I thought that overall, it was helpful for those who hadn't heard of Ash Wednesday and Lent (most of our church). Here it is:

Irenaeus (175AD - 195AD), mentions the idea of spending some time fasting in
preparation of Easter. This developed into the observance of Lent (Council
of Nicea, 325AD). Lent is the forty days (not including Sundays as they are
always days of celebrating the Resurrection) preceding Easter. The forty
days of Lent are used to parallel the forty days that Jesus spent in the
wilderness, fasting and praying, before starting His earthly ministry. "Ash
Wednesday" has been historically recognized as the day to initiate the
period of fasting and repentance known as Lent. It's called "Ash Wednesday"
because ashes were traditionally used to mark the foreheads or hands of
those who attended church on that day.

In the Old Testament, ashes are a sign of humility and repentance of sin.
(See 2 Sam. 13:19 and 15:2; Esther 4:1-3; Job 42:6, Jer. 6:26 ). Jesus
mentions repenting in sackcloth and ashes in Matthew 11:21. A mark is a sign
of ownership; in Ezekiel 9:4-6, a mark on the foreheads of the people
provided protection to those who served God. Therefore, a mark of ashes was
used to show repentance of our sins and complete ownership by God.

God calls us to do spiritual housecleaning every day. Our spiritual life is
a day by day (in fact, moment by moment) walk with our Heavenly Father.
However, this day can serve as a good reminder of the need for us to take a
spiritual inventory. Take this occasion to come quietly and reverently
before the Lord, offering your life to Him to examine. Ask Him where He
wants to work. Ask Him what He wants to change. Maybe there are some
patterns of thinking and habits that you have fallen into that need
reevaluated; maybe God is calling you to some new habits and a new manner of
investing your precious time so it can reap eternal benefits.

Set aside some time and let the Lord work in your heart. Then, as the Lord
leads, pray about not only what to do, but also, how the Lord would have you
implement the ideas into your life. An added value is for each of us to
share with one another what God is doing in our hearts. In this way, we can
develop accountability and have partners in the journey who can hold us up
in prayer.

May we all humble ourselves before our Lord and Savior during these forty days before Easter, preparing ourselves for the coming of His kingdom.

A Lenten Rule of Life

We received this in our bulletins at Alpine Anglican this week. A "Rule of Life" does not reduce our relationship with God to a set of rules; rather, these guidelines help us in our commitment to draw closer to our Lord and Saviour during this Holy time of Lent.

This checklist is for private use, Father stressed. For us to pray over and ask God for guidance regarding what He would have us to do to increase our love for and knowledge of Him. Then we are to keep them in our Bibles as reminders of our commitments.

MY LENTEN RULE OF LIFE FOR 2007

Self-examination and repentance:
Review each day using:
___ 10 Commandments (BCP p. 68-69)
___ Private Confession (BCP p. 589)
___ Sacramental confession once during Lent

Prayer
Corporate
___ I will attend every Sunday Mass in Lent
___ I will attend ___ Weekday Mass in Lent
___ I will join in the family Daily Prayers (BCP p. 587 or 589)
___ I will attend Stations of the Cross on Fridays in Lent
Private
___ I will pray the Daily Office daily (___Morning; ___Evening; ___ Both)
___ I will spend ___ minutes daily in prayer and meditation

Fasting and Self-Denial
___ I will fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday
I will abstain:
___ Eating no meat on Wednesdays and Fridays
___ Eating meat only once a day in Lent
___ No eating between meals
___ I will give up _____________ (something specific) in Lent
___ I will take on ______________ (something specific) in Lent

Almsgiving
___ I will use the Lenten Mite Box
___ I will give $____ to _________
___ I will make a special offering to ____________

Reading and Studying God's Word
___ I will read the book _________________
___ I will attend the Wednesday Lenten study
___ I will read the Bible ____ minutes per day

All this I will do, God being my helper.

Lent Is A-Comin'

Yesterday, when B was well, the two of us attended the Alpine Anglican Church of the Blessed Trinity before we went on to Lake Murray as usual. It's rare that I can attend a Sunday service with the Alpine congregation. But with Father Acker too ill to hold one Friday, I was feeling liturgy-deprived already. He was definitely feeling better, and together we bade goodbye to the "alleluias" for Lent. Father spoke a great deal about Lent, and the bulletin had a lovely checklist of ideas for a Lenten Rule of Life. As he told us, a Rule is not saying that we are downgrading our relationship to God to a bunch of rules, but that we are willing to do something extra to build our relationship to God during these forty days. There is no punishment for breaking the Rule except for our losing the opportunity to draw closer to God. Listed on the Rule sheet were ideas on self-examination/repentance, prayer, fasting/self-denial, almsgiving, and reading/studying God's Word. I am going to pray over this Rule today and tomorrow and see what God will have me do to grow closer to Him during this time of Lent.

This Wednesday is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. I'm hoping to be able to attend the 6:30 PM service at Victoria Chapel with Father Acker of Alpine Anglican. I love the symbolism of the ashes: death to old self, mortal death to come but eternal life in Jesus to enjoy forever! The ashes also symbolize repentance; in the Old Testament, those who were mourning and repenting of their actions (think Job, David, etc.) covered themselves with ashes as a sign of their change of heart. With the ashes in the form of the cross, we are reminded that we are marked as Christ's own forever, in this life and in the next.

I had forgotten to ask Pastor Stephen to reprint the excellent Ash Wednesday/Lenten guide we had put in the bulletin as a flyer last year. Perhaps Veneta can dig it out and we can send it out to Lake Murray via e-mail today or tomorrow.

This week, barring becoming ill with what all four kids have right now, I also will attend the Writers' Symposium by the Sea at Point Loma Nazarene University. Judith, Kitty, and I have signed up for Wednesday's interview with Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies and Plan B among other works, and Friday's with Eugene Peterson, who translated The Message. On Wednesday, we're hoping to go to the college early so we can catch Lamott speaking in chapel. Then we want to go to lunch at a lovely cafe on Rosecrans before coming back for Lamott's interview (probably with Dean Nelson, my creative writing prof) at 2:00 PM. I'm looking forward to these talks as an excellent way to begin this Lenten time of especial concentration on God.

Roses Are Red...

Keith gave me two rose bushes for Valentine's Day -- one very red climber, "Blaze," and a pinkish-red simgle-blossom, "Watermelon Ice."

He helped me plant them today. He dug the holes; I planted the bare root bushes. Then after I had filled the little circles I had made around the bushes, they sunk too low and Keith had to replant them a little higher up when I ran out of steam.

I also planted some violet-pink tulips, some pale pink stocks, and three Madrid lavenders. I am DONE for -- that was much more work than I usually do in the garden at one time.

He also bought a peach tree which we'll try to plant tomorrow. I'll try to get some pictures soon -- even if I have to use Keith's ponderous Nikon -- and less than two weeks until my birthday when I will hopefully get my own digital camera.

Gardening....

Today when stopping by the local Rite Aid, where in the past I have sworn NEVER to purchase plants for the garden, I spied my favorite plant: lavender. After placing three plants into a nearby cart, I then saw some blue pansies -- ah, must have those. Then tulips in four-inch pots? And my favorite annuals -- stocks in a pale pink?

I got half of them planted today, plus several rose bushes trimmed back. I'm hoping to finish cutting back the roses tomorrow as well as planting the lavender and tulips along with my new Valentine rose bushes from my sweet husband. Keith needs to pull out several rogue oak trees that have taken residence in my back bed, and then we can plant. My flower garden has been a source of sadness for me since they were destroyed last fall, so slowly recreating them is hard but joyful work. I just have to be careful not to do too much at once or I'll be laid up afterwards. I will try to post some pics soon of my lovely new plants; our Santa Ana this weekend after the heavy rains earlier this week make tomorrow (Saturday) a perfect gardening day.

The Discipline of Darkness

This selection, from February 14 of My Utmost for His Highest, has spoken to me more than once. I have read portions of it in several books before actually reding it in the context of this daily devotional; it seems to me to be perhaps the most profound statement Oswald Chambers makes in this collection.

At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God's hand until we learn to hear Him. ... watch where God puts you into darkness, and when you are there, keep your mouth shut.

Later he states:

...darkness is the time to listen. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light.

The whole idea of listening in the darkness reminds me strongly of St. John of the Cross (died in 1591; co-founder of the Discalced Carmelites with St. Teresa of Avila)and his idea of the "Dark Night of the Soul" - a time of testing and refining when God robs us of pleasure in our relationship with Him, testing us to make certain that we are worshiping Him not for ourselves. but totally and completely for His sake. We are to go through this "Dark Night" on faith, learning to trust God for the joy of worship, the peace of prayer, to return when we are transformed more into His image. St. John of the Cross reminds us that not everyone goes through this "Dark Night," but it is reserved for those who are especially devoted to God. (A great excerpt of St. John of the Cross can be found in Richard Foster's Devotional Classics.)

Oswald tells us to use this time of darkness to learn to listen. St. John of the Cross tells us to use darkness as a time for faithbuilding and trusting in God when we get NOTHING out of our private devotions for ourselves. Darkness is a time for us to be more conformed into the image of Christ; it is not easy, but it IS a blessing. One definitely "in disguise."

St. Valentine's Day

My dear husband gave me what I love most for St. Valentine's Day: ROSES.

But these are not the kind that will fade away in less than a week. These are teh real deal -- Jacson and Perkin's roses for our garden. "Blaze," a gorgeous red climber, and "Watermelon Ice," a blush single bush. I look forward to the roses I will enjoy this summer. How lovely!

The whole beginning of this celebration of love was a martyrdom. Back in the year 269 A.D., a young Roman priest refused to worship the emperor. On February 14, this priest, Valentine, was martyred for the faith. This much is acknowledged as historical fact.

The legendary portion of the story states that Valentine had befriended the jailer's daughter. On the day he died, he left a letter for her, signed "From your Valentine." There started the idea of giving love notes and "Valentines."

I find inspiration in St. Valentine's story -- in his love for God and concern for others. May God's love envelop us all, as He is our first Love and eternal "Valentine."

Heart of Lectio Divina

From another devotional book, The Daily Reader for Contemplative Living, excerpts from the works of Father Thomas Keating, I've been reading about another passion of mine, Lectio Divina. Lectio is an ancient way of reading Scripture slowly and meditatively, letting each word and phrase speak to our hearts. Devotional material can also be read in this manner, but it's usually reserved for Scripture. I love lingering over Scripture, thinking and pondering and listening to God's voice as He speaks through His Word.

Here are some quotes from this week's entries from Keating's works:

Lectio Divina leads to a personal relationship with God. The ancient monastic way of doing lectio does not mean reading a lot. It means reading the text until you feel the call of the Spirit either to reflect on a particular passage, sentence, or phrase.... You may want to praise God, ask for something, or converse with God. Or you may feel like pouring out your heart to God.

I love how Keating talks about how lectio is a personal experience. What he writes about here reminds me of precisely what Edie told us years ago about "quiet times" -- keep reading until God speaks. It may be only a word or a phrase, but be listening for His voice.

And another passage:

The heart of the prayer is to recognize the presence and action of God and to consent to it.... The most intimate relationship with God is to be completely present to God in whatever we are doing. What we do in silence under ideal circumstances, we begin to do in daily life, remaining in the interior freedom we experienced during contemplative prayer even in the midst of intense activity.

Consenting to God is something I really desire. I want to be truly present to Him, and I want my interior life to roll into my active life. My life is so active with four kids to home school plus other commitments, but I want to have a peaceful and contemplative spirit that transfers from contemplation and silence into kids and busy-ness.

Keating's book keeps me inspired and teaches me how to accomplish a contemplative life not just in spite of but more completely because of my busy life. (I hope that makes sense!) That's invaluable, and lectio divina, "divine reading," is definitely a path that takes me into the presence of God.

The Grammy Awards

Okay, okay, I'll admit it: I'm addicted to award shows. I did have an excuse to watch the Grammys: U2 was up for two awards, which they didn't win. But I always seem to find new artists I want to check out at the Grammys. A few years ago, it was Norah Jones. This year it's Corinne Bailey Rae. Such a sweet voice -- very lovely girl and lovely music.

The dresses, the costumes, the hair, the music. I loved Carrie Underwood's hair and dress, and loved even more seeing the Police reunion. Too cool. Mary J. Blige was gorgeous, body, voice, and soul. Loved how she thanked Jesus and God the way she did. Glory to Him for the gift of music in the first place. And Justin Timberlake didn't annoy me as much as usual; the DixieChicks took over that spot for me.

This morning I logged into my CD club and ordered Corinne Bailey Rae's new CD, as well as ones from John Mayer and (not related to the Grammys) Frank Sinatra. Love those old songs of his -- talk about classic! So I have new music on the way -- yay! Life can't get much better than that!

Well, if my CD club didn't charge full price for U2 and Green Day, that would be PERFECTION!

Common Things

I was reading in my morning devotional, the classic My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers and came across the reading for February 7 (yes, I am running a bit behind). Here is a bit to chew on:

"...we never dream that all the time God is in the commonplace things and people around us. If we will do the duty that lies nearest, we shall see Him. One of the most amazing revelations of God comes when we learn that it is in the commonplace things that the Deity of Jesus Christ is realized."

I take great joy knowing that God is always available in the simple, in the commonplace things of life. The birds outside my window of a morning. The laughter of my children. The love of learning that occasionally sparks across the school table. The flow of poetry. The solace of a lit candle. The scent of rosemary freshly plucked for a meal, the smell lingering on my fingers. The flowers that herald spring -- the sweet pansies, the proud stocks, the joyous daffodils in their sunshine yellow. The wind in the trees -- making an odd and mournful song. In all these things, God talks to me, calls to me. What comfort! What solace! What peace.

And God is in all. Jesus is in all. Loving with my eyes and my heart is a form of worship. Revelation comes in the simple stuff. Doing our work, looking for the simple joys. Keeping eyes and heart open to Christ in other people, especially those under my nose all day.

Earlier in the same reading, Oswald writes, "The meaning of prayer is that we get hold of God, not the answer."

How wise. When we pray, we should be looking for God, not His answering our petitions. What does He say to us in the simple moments, in the daily back and forth of "real life"? This meaning of prayer is why I find myself reaching for ancient prayers that speak to God, speak of God, in beautiful, reflective, reverential words that are beyond my own expression yet speak exactly what my heart feels in gratitude, in love, in awe, in worship, of my Lord and my God. I do ask for things, but that's not the crux of prayer for me. The meaning of prayer is to seek Him, to celebrate Him, to worship Him, and to love Him, with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind, and all my strength.

Our God comes to us in the breath of the breeze, in a trickle of water, in a child's smile. He created it all, and He reveals Himself to us if we only are open to the simple, commonplace things of life.