Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Carry On Tuesday Prompt #31

I haven't written much poetry since NaNoWriMo took over my (very limited) writing time, but this week I decided to return to the prompts at Carry on Tuesday. This prompt (#31) was one that spoke to me more than the last few, so I thought I'd see what words and images spun out of the prompt.

The prompt is the opening line of "Touch" by Octavio Paz:
"My hands open the curtains of your being."

So here is my contribution -- a hurried one, only in second draft form:

Her hands
opening the curtains
of his being.
Trying to peer into
his darkness,
she can see nothing --
understand nothing.

She persists,
her eyes plundering
the black velvet depths.
Not one shimmer
brings her a hint
of revelation,
of relief.

she draws the
curtains closed,
bringing together
the edges
perfectly --
so that he will

Copyright 2009 by Susanne Barrett
Let me know what you think, okay? I welcome ideas for improving this rough version. I'll probably take it to our Writers' Workshop next month, too, for feedback and ideas.


sarah said...

It's great you are writing more poetry again :-) I like the present tense you have used here.

Cassiopeia Rises said...

This for a first draft is lovely. You captured the prompt and all of it's many meanings.
Great stuff....

love, Melanie

Susanne Barrett said...

Thanks, Sarah and Melanie. I'll keep working on it. :) I like it, too -- better than several I've written lately.


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