Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Carry On Tuesday Prompt #31



I haven't written much poetry since NaNoWriMo took over my (very limited) writing time, but this week I decided to return to the prompts at Carry on Tuesday. This prompt (#31) was one that spoke to me more than the last few, so I thought I'd see what words and images spun out of the prompt.

The prompt is the opening line of "Touch" by Octavio Paz:
"My hands open the curtains of your being."

So here is my contribution -- a hurried one, only in second draft form:

Her hands
opening the curtains
of his being.
Trying to peer into
his darkness,
she can see nothing --
understand nothing.

She persists,
her eyes plundering
the black velvet depths.
Not one shimmer
brings her a hint
of revelation,
of relief.

Sighing,
she draws the
curtains closed,
bringing together
the edges
perfectly --
so that he will
never
know.


Copyright 2009 by Susanne Barrett
Let me know what you think, okay? I welcome ideas for improving this rough version. I'll probably take it to our Writers' Workshop next month, too, for feedback and ideas.

3 comments:

sarah said...

It's great you are writing more poetry again :-) I like the present tense you have used here.

Cassiopeia Rises said...

This for a first draft is lovely. You captured the prompt and all of it's many meanings.
Great stuff....


love, Melanie

Susanne Barrett said...

Thanks, Sarah and Melanie. I'll keep working on it. :) I like it, too -- better than several I've written lately.

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