Monday, April 12, 2010

Attempting Gratitude amid Weariness

It's been a difficult week for several reasons, so today I'm trying to bring forth those thankful feelings I know I should have but currently don't. I'm rather worn out from my new class at Brave Writer and several other items on my to-do list, demanding my attention, my flagging energy. "Weary" would be a better word than "worn out," actually.

Seeking hope in the midst of drugdery, I turned to the wisdom seeping from the edges of my humble quotation journal, and several phrases from Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest are calming heart and mind, bringing with them much-needed peace:

"One of the most amazing revelations of God comes when we learn that it is in the commonplace things that the Deity of Jesus Christ is realized" (February 7).

"As God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the Risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to damp you" (March 6).
So I now join Ann Voskamp's wonderful Gratitude Community at Holy Experience, working my way ever-so-trudgingly towards One Thousand Gifts....

So this week, I bow in thankfulness for...

151. ...digging into soil on Saturday, blue pansies now cheering my front porch.

152. ... our porch remaining winterized with stacks of wood and kindling--still needing warmth and flickering light of fire on these cold spring nights.

153. sparkling in wan morning sunshine, a reminder of blessed coolness as we head toward the unwelcome, uncomfortable heat of summer.

154. ...wisdom to postpone the beginning of school from today to tomorrow as too many needs cluttered my mind and day.

155. ...resting yesterday after church when body and mind were too sore to continue checking "done" items off mental list of pressing needs.

156. ...boys who (mostly) cheerfully scrub and sweep, vacuum and dust, cleaning the house for me today. (They'll gladly tackle cleaning rather than algebra any day.)

157. ...possibility of new beginnings for us, after much prayer and work--and much prayer and work still ahead--but glimmerings of new hope motivate us.

158. ...a friend quietly slipping a $100 WalMart gift card into my hand yesterday after church--the gift of a family who wishes to remain anonymous. Benjamin needs shoes and the others need additional items. Sigh of relief and joy--and learning well the lesson of receiving graciously as well as giving generously.

159. of poems raining about me this April: National Poetry Month.

160. of celebrating Elizabeth's 18th birthday this last week with her choice of activity: a "Girls' Day Out" with me, rather than party of non-slumbering friends overnighting or large gathering of family and friends.

161. ...Easter hymns sung heartily on Resurrection Sunday, a welcome change from usual rock 'n' roll music at church as we attended "blended" service rather than "contemporary" on Easter Sunday.

162. ...anticipation of our annual women's retreat with wonderful women of Lake Murray Community Church--at the Bible Camp a mere two miles from our home.

163. ...two weeks' worth of gratitude building up (as I celebrated Holy Week), refreshing strength, mind, spirit.

164. ...candlelight and soft chant music in background of Noon Prayers during lunch hour this afternoon--peace and hope and joy in speaking prayers low and sweet.

165. ...much-needed rain slaking thirst of mountains, still trembling now and then as plates adjust.

166. little damage here from the 7.2 earthquake a mere 80 miles from our home--just many items to pick up that fell over: books, CDs, DVDs, candles, knick-knacks, lamps. Only casualty: my antique bed lamp, already broken, was broken anew. Aftershocks remind us of grace of "Easter Miracle"--only two dead as quake occurred at 3:30 on Easter afternoon rather than when schools, offices, stores, etc, were full.

167. of gardening returning with spring--greening earth greets me with winsome smile and beckoning finger.

168. flowing across pages bringing shy joys as thoughts stumble over themselves, eager to be expressed. Words as sculpting tools bring form and suggest motion and emotion.

169. ...boys who still sit on my lap with little invitation, despite two of the three edging tall over me.

170. ...eager students--at home, at co-op, in forums--searching for treasures in literature, proudly displaying rough-cut diamonds of revelation and Truth in palms of their hands.

holy experience

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